Teens visit elderly in pilot program emphasizing Jewish values, learning

by Johanna Ginsberg
NJJN Staff Writer

Joe McGrath’s room visit at Sunrise Assisted Living at West Essex in Fairfield was a little awkward at first. He had a grin that nearly touched the window next to him, but the conversation was stilted as Alex Irwin, 14, of Montville and Adam Weis, 13, of Livingston asked politely about his Christmas holiday, and mentioned their own attempt at learning piano and guitar.

Then came the breakthrough moment. Alex asked if he played sports in high school.

“High school. Hmm. That was a long time ago. Let’s see. I played baseball and football. I played halfback at Seton Hall Prep.”

“I bet you were a tough guy back then,” said Alex.

“Well, I softened up over the years. Now I’m just an old man.” The conversation about sports took over and pretty soon the three were engaged in a lively conversation abut the Boston Red Sox.

Meanwhile, out in a common area of Sunrise, 11 other teens ranging in age from 12 to 16, all members of Congregation Agudath Israel of West Essex in Caldwell, were busy with their own activities. Some were learning to play mah jongg and poker, while others played cards or knitted. Their teachers and playing partners are residents of the facility, mostly over 80.

They are all part of Heart Action, the flagship program of SPARK: Partnership for Service, a three-year-old pilot project headquartered in Baltimore, with sites for Heart Action in 10 cities across the country. Spark’s mission is “to inspire a commitment to service as an ongoing part of each person’s life and an important expression of Jewish identity,” according to Naomi Rabkin, director of programs and training. With an annual budget of $700,000, its funders include the Jewish Life Network/Steinhardt Foundation, Samberg Family Foundation, and Meyerhoff Philanthropic Funds. Heart Action is all about visiting senior citizens, but placed within a context of Jewish learning and Jewish values.

All sites that take on the project receive a grant from Spark for $1,800 to defray the cost of implementation. Most of the other sites operate as regional clusters, attracting teens from across the community rather than from a single synagogue, according to Rabkin. They are located in Toronto, the San Francisco Bay area, Boston, Detroit, Baltimore, New York City, Westchester, Bridgeport, CT, and River Edge, NJ.

The Agudath Israel group is becoming a model site, Rabkin said. In fact, it was supposed to conclude in December, but it was so popular that it is continuing through the year.

At a minimum, sites must commit to a six-10 week program with visiting scheduled at least twice each month and reflection and study at least twice each month. The Agudath program includes both components nearly every Sunday. “The common thread for people taking on this project is that they are all innovative, creative, and willing to take this on. It’s not easy to implement,” said Rabkin.

When the teens arrived at 10:30 a.m. on a recent Sunday at Sunrise, they sat together in a circle with facilitator Abby Landau, also a member of Agudath Israel. As they have done each week since the program began in October, they spent about 45 minutes learning about an aspect of the mitzva of visiting the elderly. The group has read poetry about compassion versus sympathy, reviewed texts from Pirkei Avot, even simulated some of the physical difficulties associated with aging. This week, the conversation centered on listening skills and concluded with a listening exercise and some tips and rules on room visits, the newest component of the program. At 11:15 a.m., the teens began interacting with the seniors.

“I was apprehensive and shy at first. Now it’s easier to strike up a conversation with other older people I meet,” said Cara Jacobs, 15, of Montville. “I’ve learned that although they’re older and their functions might be limited, they still want to have fun and do the things I want to do, like read, play cards, watch TV and movies.”

The project began as a small pilot in Baltimore, with new sites being added each year. In all, the program has about 500 participants, although new teens are joining as programs begin in 2005, with a projected total of 750 participants by June. Spark also provides training, coaching, and curriculum materials for facilitators, as well as reflection journals for the teenagers and bright orange t-shirts for everyone.

The seniors say they enjoy the visits as well. Miriam Boris, 80, is so engrossed in the mah jongg game she refuses to stop in the middle to speak with a visitor. Louis Corbosiero, 87, who came for the first time this particular day, said, “It’s nice to play with them. They’re calm and easygoing.” He turned back to the game, telling his teenage partner, “You go. I already went.”

In the knitting area, Libby Shimshak, 88, said, “It’s wonderful to see their spirit. And they’re so smart, God bless them. They pick things up very quick.” She has taught several of the teens to knit, but on this particular day she was disappointed that most of the teens ended up playing other games and none were knitting. But then she brightened as Beth Sanger, 15, of Montville, and Cara returned from a visit to the Alzheimer’s floor. “It’s very exciting when we click, and we always do,” said Beth.

Landau seems to enjoy the program as much as the teens. “The seniors teach kids how to do things, or maybe they play a hot game of poker. It’s so much fun for these kids. They’re learning something new, or tweaking a skill they already have, in a community where they never expected,” said Landau. “The first day, they had worried looks on their faces — what would it be like, would they feel comfortable? But as the program has gone on, they started having a great time.”

David Steinfeld, 13, a student at West Essex Junior High School, started the project to fulfill a mitzva project requirement. But he hasn’t stopped coming. “At the beginning, it was awkward. But once you get into it, it’s fun. It feels so good to make their day better,” he said.

Johanna Ginsberg can be reached at jginsberg@njjewishnews.com.