It was no laughing matter, two thousand and six,
With war in Iraq, and the troops in a fix
And Israel facing a two-fronted war
And the Iranians hoping to make it one more.
Indeed, it was broyges, from Beirut to Baghdad
With Hamas, Hizbullah, and Ahmadinejad.
The terrorists don’t care much whom they fight
But when it means killing Jews, the line forms on the right.

Except when it seems to form on the Left,
Among “scholars” and others who are all but bereft
Of ideas except that it’s all Israel’s fault.
We’re talking to you, Mearsheimer and Walt,
And your comrade-in-arms, ex-prez Jimmy Carter,
Who likes to pretend that he’s some sort of martyr
And alone is the champion of a two-state solution
(It’s the State of Denial that he’s really pushin’).

And speaking of those who live in Denial,
Tehran managed to do it in style.
Its president decided he just had to throw a
conference in order to disprove the Shoa.
His point being that while the Nazis were smeared,
Their ideas are much better than once they appeared.
We laugh at this meeting of imams and Dukes
Until we imagine these nut jobs with nukes.

Did someone say nut jobs? I did, and here’s Mel!
Back from his passions with a movie to sell.
Except that the new one is not about Jesus,
But no matter, for now it seems his disease is
Blaming the Jews “for the wars in the world.”
Because that’s one of the slurs that he hurled
When arrested for drunkenly driving in Malibu.
We now know Mad Max, unlike the Pope, is quite fallibu.

At least he was drunk — what’s George Allen’s excuse
For making the target of his special abuse
An Indian-American with a video camera
Whom he called “macaca” and then had to stammer a
Sort of apology that satisfied fewish
After George angrily denied he was Jewish?
The lesson is clear — you can’t win a state
When the best you can say is, “It’s me that I hate.”

Jews had a defender from this sort of toxin,
And no, we’re not thinking of Abraham Foxman,
But rather a guy who pretended to hate them,
Then cavorted with bigots and proceeded to bait them
And gave movie audiences someone to roar at.
Although there’s a question about whether Borat
Was good for the Jews. Are you sure average folk
Were savvy enough to be in on the joke?

But the year’s Jewish highlights weren’t all hate and bile,
Here’s just a few that we think were worthwhile:
Like rallies and marches that said we’d go far for
The world’s dispossessed, from Haifa to Darfur.
And an Election Day turnout that showed them in force
That many were fed up with just “stay the course.”

And the cause of gay rights declared a great victory,
Saying “change” and “Conservative” were not contradictory.
So we’ll end the year with a wish for Shalom
And that Israel’s soldiers soon will come home.
May your blessings be plenty and your setbacks quite few.
And thank God everyday that Kramer’s no Jew.