This Shabbat begins on the day known as Black Friday — the day the holiday shopping frenzy begins. People gather in the dark and cold to be the first through the doors of stores that open at 5 or 6 a.m., determined to get their hands on the hottest gifts at the lowest prices.

I don't get it. I do understand buying presents for kids — that's actually a lot of fun. What I don't get is the frantic gift exchanging among adults. It's true that you don't see it much in Jewish families (perhaps people really do understand that Hanukka is a minor holiday), but when I worked in the business world, I watched coworkers making themselves crazy trying to find something — anything — to give to aunts, cousins, brothers-in-law, and others to whom they were not particularly close but to whom they felt obligated to give a holiday present.

This has to be the explanation for Chia Pets, electric hot dog cookers, inedible fruitcakes, and all sorts of hideous, dust-collecting holiday tchotchkes. Does anybody really need these things? Does anybody even really want them? But gift-giving is the tradition, so all this stuff is purchased, wrapped, exchanged, and exclaimed over (not to mention re-gifted).

And, as it happens, our Torah portion this week opens with a story about gift-giving. As Jacob enters the land of Canaan after 20 years at the home of his uncle and father-in-law Laban in Padan Aram, he sends gifts of goats, sheep, camels, cattle, and asses to his brother Esau. And when Esau and his men arrive at Jacob's camp, they enact the ritual required by etiquette. Esau at first refuses his brother's gift: "I have a lot (rav), my brother, let what you have remain yours." But Jacob insists: "Please accept my gift which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have everything (kol)."

Jacob and Esau are both wealthy men, but one says he has a lot (rav) and the other says he has everything (kol). This is what the Hafetz Hayim (Rabbi Yisrael Meir haCohen, 1835-1933, Poland) had to say about the difference: Through these statements we see the difference in worldview between Jacob and Esau. Esau said he had a lot — even though he had a large amount, he would still want more, for whoever has a hundred wants two hundred. Jacob, however, said "I have everything" — I am not missing anything at all. Esau constantly wanted more, while Jacob felt great satisfaction with what he had.

The point isn't that wealth is bad or that you shouldn't work to acquire the good things in life. We all have possessions that we treasure. Rather, it's a matter of attitude. As long as you think, If I only had one more thing — a Mercedes, a vacation home in the mountains, a swimming pool, fabulous jewelry, whatever your fantasy may be — I'd be happy, you'll never be happy. As soon as you acquire that one thing you wish for, there will be something else you will think of that you absolutely must have.

Happiness isn't a matter of stuff. Happiness comes from looking at what you do have — not just the things, of course, but family, friends, community, your accomplishments, and your dreams — and realizing that God truly has blessed you with everything.

In Pirkei Avot Ben Zoma taught, "Who is rich? The one who is happy with his portion." So why not skip the mall — at least for a day — and drop in at shul to thank God for all the gifts you have been given.