The Jewish Family & Vocational Service of Greater Middlesex County's Monroe office is offering an eight-week session for those overcoming the trauma of losing a spouse.

The JFVS has run three or four such bereavement groups a year since they began about five years ago, according JoAnn Cohen, a social worker who runs the groups.

JFVS is currently looking for members for a new series.

"Most of our people come from the adult communities in Monroe," said Cohen. "Usually most of the people who come have lost a spouse within the last year, but sometimes it's longer. We look to provide a safe environment where people can talk about the loneliness and sense of despair they feel."

Cohen said the effort has drawn an average of five or six members per group.

"We have mostly women, but some men, and most people are in their 70s, sometimes 80s, a few younger," said Cohen. "What is most important for me is that by coming, they find someone with whom to connect and have a cup of coffee. We just have conversations about how they are feeling. They realize they aren't crazy and their feelings are normal, just hearing that someone else feels the same way."

She added that she offers participants coping techniques on dealing with loss and abandonment, keeping in mind that many have lost a life partner of 50 or more years.

"We talk about what it is to have meals alone," said Cohen. "We talk about the first anniversary, the first holidays after the death, which are always hard — not that those following are a piece of cake."

The bereavement groups have given many the tools to resume activities they had abandoned. Cohen recalled one woman who became so depressed after the death of her husband she no longer had the energy to baby-sit her grandchildren.

After attending an eight-week bereavement workshop, the woman "was able to resume baby-sitting again," said Cohen.

Another man came in wondering whether he should move in with his daughter.

"Many men who have been married many years have had their social calendars arranged by their wives so they do not have connections with the community," said Cohen. "We have programs for them, like our breakfast club or men's club. He made some connections through the bereavement group and is now very involved with those programs. We also encouraged him to learn how to cook and do laundry."

In fact, participants often form close bonds. Cohen recalled a group of women who met during one of the first groups five years ago and continue to get together socially to this day.

Those interested in joining should contact Ariella at either JFVS' Edison office (732-777-1940) or at its Monroe office, located in the Concordia Shopping Center (609-395-7979). The start date will be based on participants' needs.