A father's lessons about coexistence
During a recent stay in Jerusalem, I felt the pleasure of Israeli-Palestinian friendship at the individual level but the pain of Israeli-Palestinian relations at the group and national levels. There seems to be a point beyond which trust is absent, power takes over principle, and any talk of a peace settlement or peace action is derailed by extremism and in favor of the status quo.
As peace remains elusive, it behooves us to ponder the lessons of the past in order to learn from them and envision a better future. In doing so, I take the lead from my father, who passed away in Jerusalem over a year ago at age 93.
As a Jerusalemite, my father experienced British, Jordanian, and Israeli rule, each with its challenges and uncertainty. He also faced more conflicts and wars than peace, having lived through the Arab-Jewish struggles of the British Mandate years; five Arab-Israeli wars; and two Palestinian uprisings against Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands, one that began in 1987 and ended before the Oslo Accords of 1993 and another that began in 2000 and still continues.
One of the hardest times occurred during the 1948 war, when my father led the rest of the family to Jericho first and then to the Ramallah area on the West Bank to escape the battle for Jerusalem. With no employment or governmental assistance, my family had to survive for several months on extremely limited means. If it were not for the goodness of relatives and strangers, survival would not have been possible.
This tragic episode repeated itself in June 1967, albeit for a shorter duration, when my father led the family away again from the battle for Jerusalem, this time toward the Bethlehem area. What made this escape even harder was that my brother and I became separated from the rest of the family during the Israeli incursion into our neighborhood of al-Thori. We were not able to be reunited until two weeks later. Neither side knew that the other was alive and well.
The conflicts and wars made my father critical and impatient with political and religious radicalism and the worsening of economic conditions. He did not understand why "intelligent" leaders on both sides of the Arab-Israeli divide could not have been more imaginative and find workable solutions. Hurting the innocents deeply pained him. And so did exclusion, injustice, and military checkpoints.
Why must the sacred land be continually bathed in blood, with uprisings and wars waged in its name? Why must competing national, political, and religious groups rob the land of its soul, while they speak of it with love and respect? When will people learn that violence will always produce a circular trap from which none will be free? When will they understand that political problems need diplomatic solutions, not military might?
Among the lessons my father taught me, which strategists know but leaders rarely practice, are that while national self-determination and self-defense are legitimate goals, they must not be used to trample individual rights. While one's security is equally important for survival, that security must be balanced with the security of the other. Otherwise, security of one generates insecurity for the other, leading to fear, aggression, and death.
Each of the Israeli Jewish and Palestinian communities must move beyond its internal contradictions of the "self" and the external stereotyping of the "other" in order to come to terms with the existence of the "whole." Both will succeed only when they respect each other's humanity, when they promote a culture of moderation and tolerance. People, relationships, landmarks, and the environment all must not be taken for granted. If justice is to count, it must be complete. The truth must be revealed. What is essential, what is meaningful, what is right must be valued.
My father's funeral was attended by Christians, Muslims, and Jews, and by Palestinians and Israelis alike. Buried at the Greek Orthodox Cemetery atop Mount Zion, he rests in shade and within eyesight of King David's Tomb and Dormition Abbey. He joins countless others in anchoring the land till the trumpets' sound begins.
As Israeli, Palestinian, American, and other leaders prepare for the upcoming peace meeting this fall, they must learn from the past as they make decisions for war and peace: "Violence only begets violence." "Only through stability and peace can security be assured."
Israel and Palestine living side by side in peace and security is the solution. That was my father's wish. That is the urgent need of most Israelis and Palestinians. That is the dream of most people around the world.
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