Has Gibson a passion for true repentance?
The business of engaging in authentic repentance is serious and complicated. We Jews are to take on the precepts of forgiveness in such a serious manner that we are to pray on the matter three times a day. And of course, we spend 40
days of both Elul and the Ten Days of Repentance, culminating with Yom Kippur, the Day of Repentance, to help us renew and reset the paradigm of forgiveness each and every year. Indeed, the matter of forgiveness in Jewish life is no less than a hallmark of Jewish history and faith.
The process of forgiveness is a high-stakes game. We open ourselves up to possibilities of ultimate wholeness and the potential, as well, to feel broken yet again.
The anti-Semitic outburst by Mel Gibson on July 28 has left many in our community angry and horrified. Many tried to navigate through The Passion of the Christ outburst two years ago without reaching a paranoid state. However, the drunken and repugnant behavior by the disturbed actor is frightening at best and seems to confirm our worst fears about the mainstream, funny, and popular Hollywood star. During these dangerous times in the Middle East, when so many are lined up around the world to put all of the blame on Israel (and for some, on the Jews), and a random person can walk into a Jewish building in Seattle to kill people because he is “angry with the Jews and America,” some of us start to worry a bit more than usual about our existential state.
Yet Mr. Gibson says he is sorry and wants to meet with “top Jewish leaders” to discuss the issues in person. So what are we to do? Our tradition seems to push us to open our hearts to his plea. Yet, there is such a big part of us that wants to bid Mr. Gibson good riddance. Why would any of us want to be around such a bigoted human being? A paradox, for sure.
Fortunately, our rich tradition offers plenty of wise counsel. There is not enough room on this page to mine all of the sacred texts that can help inform us. But there are three basic principles that can serve as guidance.
First, individuals must acknowledge wrongdoing. That is, they must reach down to the depth of their being and understand the depth and magnitude of the specific offense.
Second, the person must apologize with the utmost of sincerity. This apology can never be perfunctory or self-serving — it must come from the purest place in the person’s heart.
Finally, individuals must change their behavior. They must do everything in their power never to act in the same fashion again. Hopefully, steps one and two will lead to earnest success at the third step.
Mr. Gibson seems to have skipped right to step two. After it was clear that he hurt so many Jews with the making of The Passion, he made few if any attempts to engage in dialogue. And now, of course, his true feelings seemed to emanate while in a drunken state. The Jewish community should not be ready to sit down with Gibson until he has displayed some real inner work. He will indeed have to cure himself of his hatred toward people until we can forgive him.
I am thrilled that he has checked himself into rehabilitation because I do believe in the 12-step program and its power to bring insight to the soul. If Mr. Gibson does indeed show growth of self, then I would be ready for the Jewish community to engage in conversation with the actor. Sitting across the table from Jewish human beings and seeing them as individuals may in fact help him understand that we did not kill Jesus Christ, do not “start all the world’s wars,” nor are we responsible for his driving-under-the-influence charges. In fact, I, on behalf of my synagogue community, make an open invitation to Mr. Gibson to come and have that conversation at B’nai Jeshurun. If he does engage in real and authentic repentance and thus changes his behavior in the future, then we are obligated to accept him and forgive.
In the meanwhile, as the world seems a bit more dangerous for Jews then it was just a few months ago, I pray for Mel Gibson’s soul…and I pray for us as well.
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