Daughter of terror victim becomes bat mitzva

by Robert Wiener
NJJN Staff Writer

Four years and 6,000 miles from her home in the West Bank settlement of Itamar, 12-year-old Yardena Twito became a bat mitzva on July 15 at a ceremony in Rockaway, where hope was interlaced with tragedy.

As the oldest of five children, her young memory is scarred by the death of her father, Yosef Twito, in June of 2002, as he tried to stop a murderous rampage by a Palestinian sharpshooter who invaded the settlement.

Twito was in charge of security at the settlement. Shortly before he died, he heard gunshots coming from a nearby house, where the invader had executed a mother and three children.

“The shots were very loud. They didn’t stop,” explained Twito’s sister, Atira Shamir, who accompanied her niece to America for the ceremony at the Chabad Center of Northwest New Jersey.

“Yosef took his phone and called fellow settlers who were supposed to respond to an emergency. But they didn’t come, so he went alone,” Shamir said.

“He saw the terrorist, he took his gun, and he shouted because he wanted to scare the terrorist. When he shouted, the Palestinian heard him and was very hysterical. He shot my brother in the head. But it is very important to know that if my brother didn’t shout, the terrorist would have gone to other homes and killed more people. He saved the rest of the other family — the father and four other children.”

Twito’s death resonated with congregants at the Chabad center in Rockaway, who had made Itamar a sister city and felt a special obligation to his oldest daughter at this special time in her life.

“She is the oldest of the children. We wanted to make it a little easier, and we wanted to get her out a little bit,” said Rabbi Asher Herson, who officiated at the bat mitzva service.

“We became very motivated to save his family,” added the rabbi. “We decided to do our best to alleviate a little bit of her suffering. I’m not saying we’re saving the whole world, but we put a lot of effort into this project,” he explained.

Herson’s congregation arranged for Yardena and her aunt to fly to New Jersey two days before the ceremony. For two weeks they are the guests of American cousins in White Meadow Lake, Debbie and Roni Zarbiv. The Zarbivs steered their visitors through pre-bat mitzva trips to a dress shop and hair stylist, as well as sightseeing excursions to New York City and Washington, DC.

Eight days after the bat mitzva service, they will celebrate with a barbecue in the girl’s honor at the Chabad Center.

Gathered at the Zarbivs’ dining room table a day before the service, the visiting Israelis shook off the remnants of jetlag to speak about their journey, with Shamir translating her niece’s words into English.

“There is a life since the tragedy,” said Shamir. “Everything was changed. The children grow up without their father. They have a wonderful mother, but with five children, it’s not easy. And they are growing up without the father.”

And yet, the aunt explained, “Yardena said she is very excited. She wanted to come to the U.S. to meet her family and see the big country of America.”

After she returns to Itamar in late July, Yardena will prepare for a second bat mitzva service in September — one that will include her close friends and immediate family. She said she looks forward to a career as a makeup artist in the Israeli film industry.

As she shared the handwritten prepared text of a d’var Torah translated into English, thoughts of home were clearly on her mind.

“I am standing here and talking to you with mixed feelings,” the speech reads. “On one hand, I am very excited to visit the United States, the big America, and meet our sister community of Chabad. On the other hand, I feel so sad that the reason for my visit is the falling of my father.”

Saluting her sister, three brothers, and “my mom, Rachel, who leads the crew with a stiff hand,” Yardena compared her late father to Pinchas, a figure mentioned in last week’s Torah portion, noting that both men “provided leadership and determination in fighting evil.”

Citing her father again, the girl said, “Even though he is not here with us, he is most definitely here in his spirit every moment of my life.”