Karlee Torres had her mother, Shari Fischer, left, and grandmother, Shelley Gelbman, with her for the June 11 festive dinner concluding the bat mitzva club at the Union County Torah Center.
Photos by Elaine Durbach
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June 18, 2009
Perhaps it was the changing late-afternoon light mingling with the glow from the candles at the dinner tables, but sometimes the girls gathered around them looked very young, and at other times they looked like young women, already accustomed to high heels and the more abstract challenges of adulthood.
Bridging that gap between childhood and adulthood was the theme of dinner at the Torah Center of Union County on June 11. The 11 girls were there with their mothers for the festive finale of the center’s Bat Mitzva Club.
Club leader Liba Nejar of Brooklyn hosted the mother-daughter dinner with her own baby daughter, Sara, on her arm — or cuddled by those helping her. Through the club’s eight biweekly gatherings, Sara provided a cherished taste of what Nejar told the girls will be their primary role as Jewish women. They can be teachers, artists, lawyers, or even truck drivers, she said, “but a Jewish woman is first and foremost a homemaker.”
She urged the mothers present to honor the girls in the club by making sure to light Shabbat candles the next day. She said the candles represent “the calm, peace, and assurance” a Jewish woman kindles in her home.
“And what did we see when you tip a candle?” she asked the girls.
“The flame always goes upward,” a chorus of voices answered.
In the club’s get-togethers, they explored that lesson through craft activities, talks, games, videos, and holiday celebrations — discussing the burdens and pleasures that come with becoming bat mitzva and crossing the bridge to adulthood. “It can be a heavy load being responsible for doing the mitzvot,” or commandments, Nejar said, “but they also give you wings. They are a great gift and a privilege that will enable you to soar up into the sky.”
The girls gave their English and Hebrew names. Karlee — or Chana — Torres, 11, of Cranford was emcee for the program, and though she needed the height provided by her new wedge heels to reach the microphone, she conducted her duties with a flourish. Watching with proud smiles were her mother, Shari Fischer, and her grandmother, Shelley Gelbman of West Orange.
Club leader Liba Nejar, with her baby, Sara, had Bat Mitzva Club members present roses to their mothers at their concluding event.
“Isn’t it wonderful,” Gelbman exclaimed. “I wouldn’t have missed this for anything.”
Karlee said the club had been a lot of fun. While a couple of the girls are 12 already, most are, like her, 11, with their bat mitzva celebrations coming later this year or next year. Some said they are hoping to carry on with the club next year.
Center leader Rabbi Levi Block visited with the girls — his own daughter among them — beaming with delight at the scene before him. He told the girls that women take on the obligation of keeping mitzvot a year earlier because God approached women first with that privilege.
Around the world, there are about 100 such clubs run by Chabad-affiliated centers like his, and the club leaders trade ideas and advice on a shared website. Block said later that if there is sufficient interest, he hopes to have a similar program next year, and he urged people who are interested to contact the center.
For information on the program, call 908-789-5252, or contact Block at rabbiblock@torahcenter.org.
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