New Jersey Jewish News
MetroWest Feature

Jordana Schoor freely admits that marriage may not be the first thing on the minds of high school students. She also agrees that a prenuptial agreement is not the most romantic of notions.

But by making young people aware of troubling issues concerning marital status, the executive director of the Orthodox Caucus said, she hopes to raise their awareness so that when they do marry, they will be fully aware of Jewish law as it applies to divorce and women’s rights.

In a talk to the senior class at the Rae Kushner Yeshiva High School in Livingston on May 12, Schoor walked the girls and boys through the sometimes troubling side of Jewish divorce, especially the reluctance of some men to grant a get, or divorce decree. Without a get, the wife is considered an aguna — a chained woman — and may not remarry.

The answer to reducing the number of agunot, Schoor emphasized, lies in signing prenuptial agreements and encouraging others to do the same. Such agreements, accepted by a growing number of Orthodox authorities, bind husband and wife to a pledge that in the case of divorce, the husband agrees to issue the get, and the wife agrees to accept it.

“Think of it like a polio vaccine,” Schoor told the students. “Even if you think it doesn’t affect you, if everyone gets it, no one will get sick. You know you’re protecting yourself and the world.”

Schoor explained that a husband may be reluctant to grant a get for a variety of reasons, including jealousy, revenge, or to use as a bargaining chip to wheedle concessions from the wife such as reduced alimony or increased child custody. The Orthodox Caucus, endorsed by leading Modern Orthodox rabbis and yeshiva heads, is at the forefront of efforts to seek legal remedies to counterbalance the unilateral power of the husband to grant the get.

After viewing an excerpt from an Israeli documentary on the plight of four women seeking freedom from their husbands in drawn-out religious court battles, the students broke into smaller groups led by Schoor and her assistants Lisa Grundman, Talia Kaplan, and Jeremy Stern — volunteers from Yeshiva University — for further study and discussion.

Citing talmudic sources, Schoor explained how Halacha (Jewish law) is full of loopholes that have traditionally given men the advantage in divorce proceedings. The girls in the group were particularly responsive, sometimes even angry, at a process that gives men such power.

The senior class regrouped for final comments from Schoor, who urged them to sign prenuptials.

“If you sign a prenuptial, agunot won’t exist,” she said.

Schoor told NJ Jewish News between sessions that it was “important to plant the seeds early.” When the time comes, the students will remember the message as “something that can protect [them] and other people.”

“We’re trying to make it a worldwide thing that everyone signs, that it just becomes a natural, regular thing that if everyone does it, it doesn’t have any stigma attached to it…and can help obliterate the problem,” she said.

Girls tend to take the program more seriously than their male classmates, said Schoor, an educator by training who has taught Bible at Ma’ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls in Teaneck. “They’re the ones who are going to be hit by this, whereas the guys need to be sensitive to it.”

Judging by the remarks of some students after the program, Schoor’s mission had been accomplished.

Vivian Feldman, 17, of West Orange, praised the overall message. “It was a really great program. Even though it’s not really romantic…, it’s really important or else you could get stuck without a get and not be able to marry anybody,” she said. “One might say it’s premature, but early education is best for anything.”

Gabby London, 18, of Randolph, agreed that early education was important, helping her “understand what to expect if anything does happen.”

Michelle Stark’s initial impression was that the topic was premature. Yet the 17-year-old from Livingston said she liked the way Schoor presented religious texts and real-life examples. “I do think this is a controversial topic. Being a woman, I think this hits close to home for me and I really did appreciate the perspective that she brought in to show that, as women, we have to make sure that we maintain options from an early state before marriage. That was something I definitely never gave enough thought to.”

For Michael Chevinsky, 18, of Mendham, the morning was an eye-opening experience. “I didn’t understand why they had [the male students] come here because I didn’t think this was such an issue for them, but as I was watching the program, I began to realize that it was a major issue in the Orthodox community. By learning about this, we’re more aware of it and this won’t happen as often.”

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