When four rabbis gathered in South Orange last week, the fact of their presence was seen as powerful as anything they said.

In a display of Jewish unity that has become rare in recent years, the rabbis representing all four major Jewish denominations met at Congregation Beth El April 24 in an event sponsored by the American Jewish Committee and the four participating synagogues.

The rabbis sat at one table to talk respectfully about the big questions of Judaism today: intermarriage, how to engage people in synagogue life, and "Why be Jewish?"

The four also described the aspects of their movements of which they are most proud – and most ashamed (see sidebar).

A highlight of the evening came when the Chabad/Orthodox rabbi expressed his complete agreement with the Reform rabbi's response to one of the questions.

The participating rabbis were Francine Roston of the Conservative Beth El, Matthew Gewirtz of the Reform Congregation B'nai Jeshurun in Short Hills, Elliott Tepperman of the Reconstructionist Bnai Keshet in Montclair, and Mendel Solomon of Ahavath Torah in Short Hills, affiliated with the Chabad-Lubavitch hasidic movement.

They responded to questions posed by moderator Rabbi Noam Marans, associate director of contemporary Jewish life at AJC, before an audience of about 160 people.

Billed as a conversation among rabbis on the Jewish future, the evening offered insight into where the movements reach consensus and how they differ, as well as how individual rabbis and congregations manage issues locally.

On intermarriage, the Jewish communal issue that has perhaps received the most attention in the last decade, there was surprising agreement about its inevitability in an open society, even the Orthodox community. The rabbis also tended to agree on the importance of action to manage its impact.

"Just because it's raining doesn't mean we don't use an umbrella," said Solomon.

The rabbis took different tracks on the question of officiating at interfaith marriages, but shared ideas about creating a welcoming environment to draw non-Jewish partners into Judaism, providing a solid education when the children of such marriages are small.

And each offered a different perspective on meeting congregants' needs, from responding to a search for something beyond a traditional prayer experience to providing a calm place away from life's 24-hour stresses.

"People feel alone," said Tepperman. "Even people who appear to do quite well feel stressed and out of balance. But most Americans experience their problems as their own private problems."

Tepperman said he has made the synagogue a place for people to share their stories and bring common issues – like those involving health insurance or care-giving – to the fore of the community agenda.

The rabbis reached a consensus when asked how to answer a child's question: "Why be Jewish?" The answer, they agreed, was to set an example – show children the benefits of living one's life Jewishly.

Rabbis, said Gewirtz, must be role models for living the spiritual life.

If some people don't feel the spiritual imperative to send their child to religious school, he said, "that's our fault."

But now, he continued, "we're taking education seriously in a way we haven't in a generation."

The result, according to Gewirtz, is that today's children have a different perspective.

"Judaism is so delightful for them, so delicious. They come home singing songs" and ask their parents to light Shabbat candles or make Havdala. When the parents come to the rabbi to learn about these rituals and end up in a series of classes, Gewirtz said, "they are surprised to find out the first step is to take a spiritual journey."

To Gewirtz's comments, Solomon responded, "I agree with everything he just said."

Roston offered another tip: Don't be afraid to show children and grandchildren exactly how you are Jewish. "Invite people for a Shabbos meal. Go to synagogue. Take children to do mitzvot. Tell them, 'We're going to do bikur holim,'" visiting the sick. She added, "Tell your story. Tell them what you love about being Jewish."

For some among the four, it was a first-time meeting; by the end, Marans suggested, and the rabbis all agreed, that the conversation continue.

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