by Johanna Ginsberg
NJJN Staff Writer

April 23, 2009

In 1988, Ted Largman was getting ready to retire from Allied Signal (now Honeywell), but he wasn’t ready to retire from synagogue life.

“There was men’s club, there was sisterhood, but there was nothing for older people. I thought maybe we ought to have a group,” he recalled in a recent phone conversation.

His idea, established at Temple B’nai Or in Morristown in 1989, was a “Renaissance Group,” providing programming and activities for Largman’s over-50 cohort.

It wasn’t long before the Morristown resident was taking phone calls and hosting visits from other 50-plus members of nearby congregations — and New Jersey had a crop of Renaissance groups.

B’nai Or’s Renaissance has since become a model for senior groups at Reform synagogues around the country, with 45 groups nationwide.

(The Conservative movement launched a similar effort, called Hazak, in Florida in 2000, although an informal effort was begun earlier at Conservative B’nai Shalom in West Orange.)

The concept’s staying power is the signpost of its success, said Largman. “The very fact that it lasted for 20 years means we were offering something worthwhile.”

That something is “education, friendship, and new experiences,” said Charlotte Kohn Abberman, 78, Renaissance coordinator for the Union for Reform Judaism’s New Jersey-West Hudson region.

On April 19, the regional Renaissance groups held a 20th anniversary meeting at B’nai Or.

Thirty people attended Sunday’s meeting, representing seven synagogues, including B’nai Or, Temple Sharey Tefilo-Israel in South Orange, Temple B’nai Jeshurun in Short Hills, Congregation Beth Hatikvah in Summit, Temple Sholom of Fanwood/Scotch Plains, Temple Beth Tikvah in Wayne, and the Barnert Temple in Franklin Lakes.

Largman’s original vision was to create community — for empty-nesters and retirees to gather once or twice each month to socialize and listen to speakers.

“The synagogue board gave me $35 for a free breakfast; $35 was worth a lot more 20 years ago, but I still bought day-old bagels for the first meeting,” Largman reminisced at the April 19 gathering.

He had sent out a flyer inviting anyone 55 and over to come to “the birth of a new organization,” he said. “I had no idea what to expect. Fifty or 60 people showed up. It was amazing.” At that first meeting, attendees adopted the Renaissance moniker and dropped the age eligibility to 50.

Over the years, B’nai Or’s Renaissance group and those of other synagogues have brought in authors, professors, and psychologists as speakers; they have sponsored trips to museums and theaters, and even cruises. They have held seders and New Year’s Eve parties. One highlight at B’nai Or was the lecture by sex researchers William Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, early in the group’s history. “We attracted over 150 people and ran out of bagels and lox!” Largman said.

Attendees at Sunday’s meeting described how the group helped them maintain their connections, perhaps after moving to a new town, or find friendship after the death of a spouse.

Harriet Hirsch, from B’nai Jeshurun, joined the group there after the death of her mother because “I needed a connection to a temple,” she said. She said that among the benefits of her membership are “friendship, activities, stimulation, and being a part of a community.”

Kohn Abberman, one of the original members of the B’nai Or group, found it a critical emotional support after the death of her husband four years ago. With five children scattered throughout the United States, she said, “this group was my family. They saw to it that I celebrated Mother’s Day and had a seder to go to.”

Matty Goldberg of Sharey Tefilo-Israel reported that the Renaissance group there serves as a portal for the senior cohort, bringing members into general synagogue activities as well.

But members from every synagogue reported on a common challenge: the age divide. Although most started their groups when they were in their 50s and 60s, many are now in their 70s and 80s and beyond. As Renaissance members age, younger synagogue members are not taking their places.

“The ‘younger olds’ don’t want to mix with the ‘older olds,’” said Largman. He fears that without their younger peers, “we’re going to disappear. In another 10 years we’ll either all be in Florida or in the elephant graveyard.”

At Sharey Tefilo-Israel, 50-somethings have formed their own empty-nester group. “Our children do not want belong to the same social organization we belong to,” said Pauline Pollock of Sharey Tefilo-Israel. “I have a son who is 57. He and his wife want to be with people their age.”

And 50-somethings have different interests, said Dan Goldberg, Matty’s husband. “They do activities we won’t do. We’re not going to go on a walking tour for a mile. It’s just not going to happen.” He is among those who accept the change. Perhaps that’s because he belongs to a synagogue with a membership of nearly 1,000 people that can support two groups.

Kohn Abberman has her own vision for the future of Renaissance groups, based on the concept of a regional coalition.

“I want to make the regional group into its own group. I want it to gel,” she said. If members of a regional group can share resources and attend events together, the numbers at each individual synagogue will matter less. And that meshes with the goals of a soon-to-be-reorganized Union for Reform Judaism: Administrators have announced their intention to focus on creating so-called “affinity groups” to enable people to work together based on interests rather than geography.

As participants at Sunday’s meeting planned trips to the Rockefeller estate in upstate New York and shared ideas for other activities, they were buoyed by URJ regional president Ed Mehlman. “What you have done has become the template that is being used across North America,” he said. “Whatever support the Union is able to provide even in these chastened financial times will be done because the fastest growing cohort is the group of us between the ages of 60 and 85.”

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