New Jersey Jewish News
Sports Column

Coaching youth sports:
Perspective, perspective, perspective

by Ron Kaplan
NJJN Staff Writer

Baseball’s opening day is just about here. And not just for the professionals. According to the “Little League Baseball and Softball 2006 Media Guide,” more than 2.6 million kids participated in 7,408 baseball or softball leagues last year.

Henry Dunow, a New York literary agent, is one of several fathers who have chronicled their coaching experiences. But his book, The Way Home: Scenes from a Season, Lessons from a Lifetime (Broadway), plays both sides of the generation line, looking at the ups and downs of trying to guide his then eight-year-old son, Max, and his little cronies, while also recognizing the influence of his own father, Moishe Dluznowsky, on his life.

Three years ago, Dunow moved his family to Rhinebeck, NY, two hours away from his Manhattan office. While Max still participates in Little League, as does his twin sister, Maddy, the distance proved too much for Dunow, who still commutes to his office in the city, to continue coaching. Max and Maddy are taking the year off from Little League as they prepare for their b’nei mitzva.

“Probably the thing that I most regretted in leaving New York was giving up Little League coaching. I wish I was still doing it today,” he told NJ Jewish News in a telephone interview. “It was one of the most rewarding, enriching experiences I’ve ever had. I love what it brought out between my son and me, and I loved the opportunity it gave me to be part of a community.”

So what lessons did he learn from coaching a squad of third-graders?

• Understand why you want to coach
“You hear a lot of scary things about Little League, about the competitiveness, the out-of-control parents, the coaches who are not always the people you want as role models for your kids. My feeling was that if Max was going to do it, I was going to be there with him. I wanted to be part of that experience.”

Dunow grew up in Manhattan without the experience of playing in organized sports. His father, Moishe Dluznowky, a Yiddish writer who lost both parents and five brothers and sisters in the Holocaust, considered such activity narishkeit — foolishness.

• Patience
“Especially at the youngest stages. Remember, some of these kids aren’t that removed from having mastered basic motor skills. And mentally, they find it difficult to maintain full concentration on one task for hours at a time. How many adults can do that?”

Since he gave up that job, Dunow, 53, is grateful that his son has had good coaches who keep things in perspective.

• Perspective
“What do you want to teach the kids? The fundamentals of the game? Winning? Having fun? Are these concepts mutually exclusive?”

• Realize that there are coaches who will take the game way too seriously and try not to get caught up.

“There are some crazy coaches and there are some crazy parents who may or may not be coaches; they work their mishegas from the sideline,” Dunow said, grateful that his kids’ experience in both Manhattan and Rhinebeck have been positive. “Things were kept in their proper perspective. Teams played to win and coaches coached to win but if you lost a game, it was all the same.

“At the end of the game, the mood, the spirit among the boys is exactly the same whether they’ve won that game or lost.”

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