A Marlboro couple who lost a child to liver cancer was honored for their contributions to the Emmanuel Cancer Foundation.

Joel Markel and Dr. Stephanie Shuman Markel received the Citizens of Monmouth County award at the ECF’s sixth annual charity ball at the Channel Club in Monmouth Beach on Feb. 3.

The award marked their financial and volunteer commitment to the foundation, which serves New Jersey’s pediatric oncology patients and their families by providing emotional and material support, as well as emergency financial support if needed.

But the Marlboro couple said the ultimate recognition belongs to ECF, which helped them emerge from a family tragedy 17 years ago and begin a life of service and tikun olam.

In 1990, the Markels’ five-month-old son, Ryan, was diagnosed with a malignant liver tumor. Despite the best efforts of the medical community and the prayers of his family, Ryan died at the age of 11 months.

While coping with Ryan’s illness and its aftermath, the Markels faced some harsh realities. Although the infant spent most of his short life in the hospital, his parents were able to bring him home for a brief time — and learned that few pediatric nurses were available to help care for him there.

“Nurses were not willing to care for such an ill child, nor did the various agencies have nurses who were trained for this level of care,” said Joel Markel. “We spent so much time trying to find healthcare professionals to help; we advertised and even created our own nursing staff for him.”

A friend sent them information about ECF, which became one of the few bright lights that emerged during Ryan’s illness, the Markels said.

“While this was one of the most tragic experiences of my life, what helped us get through it was the foundation caseworker,” said Stephanie Shuman Markel, who maintains a dental practice in Aberdeen. “She came through with some of the most thoughtful and touching gestures, including managing to have kosher meals for me during my stays at the hospital.

“Amongst all the pain of Ryan’s illness, it was this emotional support that helped strengthen us and give us the ability to go on. It was a precious gift.”

After their son’s death, the Markels began to raise funds for ECF; they joined the foundation’s service committee and began making private donations to the organization that “threw us a lifeline,” said Joel Markel.

“The money we raise and the donations we make are between us and ECF,” he said. “It always seems strange when the foundation thanks us; we owe them a debt that can never be repaid.”

In 1993, Joel Markel also made a career change: The former accountant purchased Preferred HealthMate, an Ocean County-based company that provides in-home health care to residents throughout New Jersey.

His colleagues have voluntarily lent their support to the Markels’ ECF mission. For years, the Preferred HealthMate staff has regularly raised funds for the foundation, and this year, in honor of ECF’s recognition of the Markels, the staff donated more than $5,000 to the organization.

Staff members who wished to remain anonymous said the donation was a “testimony to the spirit and kindness of Joel and Stephanie.”

Honoring the Markels was also an easy decision for ECF, according to Carol Davis, the foundation’s managing director.

“Since that tragic time in their lives, both Joel and Stephanie have supported ECF financially and personally,” said Davis. “They have dedicated their lives to helping others through their support of this foundation.”

The years since Ryan’s death have been kind, said Joel Markel. He and his wife are congregants at the Marlboro Jewish Center and are the proud parents of Jimmy, who attends college in Washington, DC, and Lane, who is a student at Marlboro High School.

“We are blessed that Ryan put us on this path,” he said. “We’ve learned that you can recover and go on, and then go even further than that — you reach a point when you’re able to use a tragedy to bring compassion and care to others. And giving back in this way makes life wonderful.”

Giving back also represents the fulfillment of a promise that was made 17 years ago, added Stephanie Markel.

“After Ryan died, Joel and I promised ourselves that we would try and find a way to pay back ECF for assisting us during our time of great hardship,” she said. “I hope we’ve done that. Our commitment to them goes beyond any honor they could ever bestow on us.”

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