Rabbi Elazar Teitz, left, dean of the Rav Teitz Mesivta Academy and rabbi of Elizabeth’s Orthodox community, recommended a prenuptial agreement. Esther Macner, right, a New York divorce and family lawyer, recommended that women bring an attorney to rabbinic divorce court. Photos by Debra Rubin
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‘Where are the rabbis?’February 19, 2008
Speaking in Highland Park, two experts in Jewish divorce called for remedies to fix a “broken” system that allows recalcitrant husbands to exploit their estranged wives.
Rabbi Elazar Teitz, head of Elizabeth’s Orthodox community, and Esther Macner, a New York divorce and family lawyer, spoke Feb. 9 at the Orthodox Forum of Edison and Highland Park at Congregation Ahavas Achim.
The two described how a significant number of women remain agunot, or “chained” wives, unable to remarry because their husbands have refused to grant them a get, a decree of Jewish divorce. In Jewish law, only a husband can grant a get.
According to Teitz, in most instances the husband is simply holding out for revenge or to force a better deal in the distribution of property and assets.
The problem, he said, is compounded by differing practices of rabbinic courts, or batei din. Other batei din are simply unscrupulous, he added.
“Just because the rabbonim have long beards equal to the length of a women’s skirt doesn’t mean they’re ethical,” said Teitz.
Teitz voiced sympathy for women who have sacrificed their financial independence to take care of their home and children and then are backed into a corner by greedy husbands and the courts.
“Many rabbonim are old school and have trouble with the fact there are two genders in the human race and one of them is female,” said Teitz, dean of the Jewish Educational Center’s Rav Teitz Mesivta Academy. “This is the way they were brought up and the way in which they see the world.”
Teitz said he “insists” every couple he marries have a prenuptial agreement, which spells out the financial and legal obligations should the marriage be dissolved. He also recommended that women bring a lawyer to the bet din, and said he advocates that social pressure be placed on those refusing to give gittin.
Still, Teitz was pessimistic the problem could be solved soon.
Macner also described how some men use the bet din system to secure inequitable financial settlements they could never get in a secular court.
This has given rise to “a perverted use of the batei din,” she said.
Macner, who is creating a program to train Orthodox attorneys to practice in New York rabbinic courts, said that while a prenuptial agreement can be enforced in court as much as any legal contract, it only covers a husband’s refusal to appear before a beit din to give a get.
“There are many humane rabbis I know who are suffering over this,” said Macner.
In Israel, with its lack of distinction between religious and civil divorce, reluctant husbands can be jailed for refusing to give a get. However, Macner said the law is applied unevenly there, resulting in many agunot.
“The system outside Israel is terribly broken,” added Teitz. “People do whatever they please.”
Macner also recommended that women obtain a lawyer.
The rabbinical courts “know that if there is a lawyer who will take them to court it will force them to be more professional,” said Macner. “They will have to improve the system and the beis din has no choice but to let us in.”
Deborah Teitz, Rabbi Teitz’s daughter-in-law, served as the program’s chair.
‘Where are the rabbis?’
While guest speakers at the Feb. 9 Orthodox forum offered their professional outlooks on agunot, Jewish women unable to obtain a divorce, Susie Rosenfeld of Oceanside, NY, offered a very personal perspective.
Rosenfeld said she has been an aguna for almost three years and that her ex-husband has refused to appear before a beit din. She begged the gathering for help.
Rosenfeld said her husband would not relent and grant her a divorce despite the support of some rabbis, a community letter-writing campaign, and pickets outside the home where he lives with his parents. And while he has been barred from all synagogue rites and is shunned by the community, he will not change his mind. (In numerous media reports about Rosenfeld’s case, her husband, Ariel Hacohen, has declined to be interviewed.)
Now, approaching her late 30s and with no children, Rosenfeld worries she may never be able to remarry and have a family.
“Please help me,” she sobbed. “Where are the rabbis? I’ve spoken to hundreds of them. Isn’t there anything that can be done?”
Replied Rabbi Elazar Teitz: “As I said before, unfortunately not every problem has a halachic [Jewish legal] solution.”
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