by Jill Huber
NJJN Bureau Chief/Monmouth

February 19, 2008

When John Scalamonti was ordained as a Catholic priest in 1967, he fulfilled a lifelong desire.

Several years later, Scalamonti underwent a crisis of faith — and a change of heart. As far as his parents knew, he had merely requested a leave of absence from the church.

“I had been afraid to let them know about my choices, but the time had come to tell them,” Scalamonti said. “I still didn’t have the nerve to face them, so I sent a letter that said I had left the priesthood, was dating a woman, and had become an Orthodox Jew.”

Scalamonti, a former Aberdeen resident who now lives in Old Bridge, will tell the story of his religious journey at the Red Bank chapter of Hadassah’s spring education program. The program will take place Thursday, March 6, at 7:30 p.m. at Congregation B’nai Israel in Rumson.

Scalamonti has been sharing his story since the 1993 publication of his book, Ordained to be a Jew, which chronicles his religious odyssey.

Scalamonti grew up in Scranton, Pa., and in 1955, at age 14, entered the La Salette Fathers seminary in Hartford, Conn.

“As a kid, I played at conducting Mass in my home,” he told NJ Jewish News in an interview. “Even then, I felt a special closeness to the priesthood. I knew what I was supposed to be.”

After competing high school and college at La Salette seminaries in New York and Massachusetts, Scalamonti took the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience in 1961 and was ordained in 1967 at age 27.

He spent three years in Ipswich, Mass., where he ran youth programs, performed chaplaincy tasks, and conducted weekend Mass at local parish churches. In 1969, he was assigned to the La Salette seminary’s House of Studies in Washington, DC. During that year, he underwent a religious crisis that changed the course of his life.

He became uncomfortable with the church’s stand against birth control, its concept of original sin, and its position on divorce and remarriage.

“During confession, I heard men and women talk about their problems and confess their ‘mortal sins,’” said Scalamonti. “I began to question the church’s teachings and I concluded many of their positions were wrong. I had never questioned my faith, and when I began to feel at odds with it, the foundation of my beliefs cracked and eventually collapsed.

“I questioned so much that I lost my faith in the priesthood and in God,” he continued. “I couldn’t say Mass anymore, because I was no longer a believer. I wondered why my faith had been taken away.”

In 1970, Scalamonti asked the Vatican to release him from his vows. To his surprise, his request was denied.

“I had never made a more difficult decision, and I still don’t know why they refused,” he said. “Perhaps they thought my Catholic faith would somehow be restored.”

Although Scalamonti didn’t receive Vatican consent, he left the church and its teachings. While working in a restaurant in Silver Spring, Md., he met Diane Max, a coworker.

“I was struck by this beautiful, dark-haired woman who had the most outgoing personality,” said Scalamonti. “I had never been on a date, having entered the seminary at age 14. But I worked up the courage to ask her out for dinner, and I told her I had been a priest.”

During dinner, Max told him she was from an Orthodox-Jewish family.

“I wasn’t even sure what that meant. I had never even been to a Jewish home,” Scalamonti said. “Then she said we really shouldn’t date because we were from different worlds. And that logic might have worked, except for one thing — we fell in love.”

While joining her family in Baltimore for Sabbath dinner, Scalamonti was entranced by the lighting of the candles and the blessing over the wine. He began an intense course of study with an Orthodox rabbi.

“And God came back to me,” Scalamonti said. “I fell in love with the Jewish faith and its teachings that one could become holy by doing good deeds.”

He underwent his conversion in 1972 and chose Jonathan David as his Hebrew name.

His family’s shock wore off after they met Max and her family, and they eventually accepted the changes in their son’s life.

After their marriage, Scalamonti and Max eventually moved to Aberdeen, where they raised four children and attended Young Israel of Aberdeen-Congregation Bet Tefilah.

“Whenever I talk to people about my journey, I tell them that through Judaism, I found a true spiritual relationship with God,” said Scalamonti, who now works for Prudential in Woodbridge. “I urge them to make a commitment to their religion, to its beautiful rituals, and to their faith.”

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